If at first you don't succeed...
So I've been gone for I'd say almost a month now from the scene and I'll apologise because I think lacking in consistency is bad. Bad because it shows lack of determination and discipline. But in some respects the 'me time' was positive as it allowed me the opportunity to reflect and refocus.
Do you ever feel like you're not moving somewhere fast enough and so you kinda think what's the point? I think weight loss is probably an ideal example - you're not seeing the weight shed quick enough so it's like 'stuff it'. What's the point?
In my case I was just having a moment where I felt like in most areas in my life, pretty much only excluding family and friends, I was frozen and trying to move but seeing no progress. I felt like I was working hard but not reaping the rewards that I was expecting. Lowering my standards in order to have a lower expectation is something that I have difficulty doing - and I imagine a lot of competitive people also suffer from a similar issue. I expect results quickly and I expect results to a high standard. The reality is - hard work can take months, even years before we can expect to see the fruition of our ambitions.
I had to take a step back and really reevaluate my progress and where I wanted to go. I had to stop comparing myself to people who where already midway or towards the height of their success and put myself in the frame of mind as someone who was beginning their journey. Ambition is a hard thing to harness but discipline and determination is what I feel will take me forward. Another point highlighted to me by my lovely friend Soniya was that we should judge ourselves by the distance we have travelled, not the peak of our our positions as everyone has had different starting points.
I feel I'm back on the ball guys - so its back to the drawing board...
Hope you all find some inspiration and have a lovely week xxx